Ugh I swear lately I have been feeling kinda depressed and I’ve had this really weird feeling in my body, I can’t explain it. If it were en emotion if would nervous and awkward.
The depressed part is because writing up my second last post I just couldn’t stop thinking about Football after it and ughh I just wish all those memories would fly away and never come back, so that I could feel like he does; nothing.
I also have some feelings about the guy from my friend or foe? post. His best friend’s sister is in my grade and I’ve always been a little envious of her; they were always talking to each other and sometimes while talking they were doing that thing where you clap and then cross your hand over and clap their opposite hand, but the other day my feelings were actually hurt. I saw them talking and him giving her piggy backs. I just wish stop playing games. Friends or not? I wish he would be straight with me as well because sometimes he actually is nice to me and we have an okay time but always feeling like your embarrassing just to be around and someone actually finds you really annoying and hates you, without even giving a reason, because hey they’re not always like that really feels like crap.
But I felt really weird yesterday. There’s this guy in my class and he’s always seemed kinda cool, I sort of wanted to be friends with him, maybe. But then suddenly him and Pearl are friends because she texted him. He says stuff to her like “good luck” before her performances and all that, so I guess I’m a little jealous because I have one guy friend (not that your not great!) and then again he’s really popular and… I’m not. Anyway just to be clear I don’t have a crush on him but to be honest sometimes I talk to him when say, he’s sitting next to me or something, anyway its not rare that I do. After school yesterday I saw him talking to two of his friends, he left with one. The other one, however came up to me and asked if I liked him. (the guy I’ve been talking about) And probably replied with the worst answer anyone could have answered with though. I was like “I don’t hate him”, “I don’t really know him” but his friend doesn’t beat around the bush. He just said no “like, like like?” (I know lots of like in that sentence but that’s what teenagers say these days) and I said no. Which is true. But that means he must think I like him!!! I know he wasn’t asking to see if I liked him because to ask me out because
a) He is wayyy more popular than I am
b) He told Pearl he doesn’t like anyone and is focusing on school and sport
c) He probs thinks I’m a weirdo
So yeah. After that I felt all queasy and I dunno just not myself. I’ll have to just avoid him at school I guess so he doesn’t keep thinking that, but I don’t know i that a good idea? Oh my gosh I need help.
So yeah there you go folks but screwed up love life right there above you. I’ve never even had a boyfriend and as far as I know the one guy who ever liked me, (football) now acts like I’ve fallen off the face of the Earth. If anyone has any advice please help me! I’m so confused. 😦